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<title>stay stay stay (you make me feel warm) by gazwashere</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032554">stay stay stay (you make me feel warm)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gazwashere/pseuds/gazwashere'>gazwashere</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ITZY (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Unedited We Die Like Men, good ending dont worry i gotchu, i cannot angst to save my life, ppl said its kinda heavy?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032554</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gazwashere/pseuds/gazwashere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Autumn reminds Yeji of leaving, but winter comes with Ryujin in tow.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hwang Yeji/Shin Ryujin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>stay stay stay (you make me feel warm)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it was autumn when Yeji told Ryujin she wanted to go.</p><p><em>"maybe being an idol isn't my thing,"</em> Yeji says as she sits beside Ryujin, breaths coming out in white clouds as the November air sends chills down their spines. Ryujin keeps her gaze straight, unwilling to look at Yeji, because maybe if she doesn't look, it won't come true.</p><p><em>"what makes you say that? you're good at what you do."</em> and she is. Yeji was a great dancer, sharp in her movements borne from a lifetime of practice. her English was coming along, the accent softer on the words and she sings in a way that makes Ryujin's heart skip inside her chest.</p><p>
  <em>"it's just... it's a lifetime of practicing and coming home and going back and practicing. we haven't even debuted yet but i'm already tired, Ryu. i... i don't think i can make it."</em>
</p><p>and that was the genuine fear of every trainee, of not being able to debut, of not reaping the rewards after they had shed all they had, the blood, tears, and sweat inside the practice rooms all worth nothing if they won't even make it to the big stage.</p><p><em>"does that mean you're going to leave?"</em> Ryujin wills her voice not to shake, because Yeji has already shown her weakness. if she falls apart now, Yeji would be left with nothing but a crumbling foundation of friendship and bittersweet memories of shared laughter in between tiresome choreographies. no, she cannot afford to break now.</p><p><em>"yeah. i'll ask manager-unnie tomorrow how to write a letter. it won't be a big deal, then i could leave. i can go back to school. i can leave everything behind."</em> Yeji then turns to her, a sad smile on her face, and it makes Ryujin swallow the words forming at the base of her throat.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>you're leaving everything behind, you're leaving me. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>but Ryujin says nothing, just lets the words sink in. because Yeji's heart was set, and Ryujin wouldn't want to make Yeji stay where she wasn't happy. she wasn't that selfish.</p><p><em>"whatever makes you happy, Yeji."</em> and Ryujin means it. means it like how she means the words <em>"i love you."</em> she whispers to Yeji in secret, when the other isn't looking.</p><p>she means it, even as her heart breaks in pieces.</p>
<hr/><p>it was winter when Ryujin shatters, selflessness be damned.</p><p>Yeji was sorting through her things now. stacks of clothes have been relocated to the bed, a suitcase on the floor. the letter of her saying she would be leaving has yet to be written, but it doesn't matter. once it reaches the higher-ups, they will be forced to let her go as per the contract of an undebuted trainee. she is free to leave as she pleases.</p><p>her phone rings, the tone of a happy song Yeji distinctly remembers as one Ryujin hates, and she picks it up at the third ring like she always does. Ryujin had asked her about it once, and even if she doesn't know what it means. maybe it was just a force of habit, to not seem she was waiting for the call at all, even if she was.</p><p><em>"Yeji, i'm downstairs."</em> it was Ryujin's voice, the swoops and sways of the words recognizable through the chatter of teeth. Yeji thinks Ryujin is outside, where the wind is fierce with the coldness of December that followed the autumn leaves on the ground. but why is she there when she could be inside, happy and warm?</p><p>she made her way down to the door, and there stands Ryujin in all her glory, if glory could still be recognized even if snowflakes are up in her hair and cheeks flushed red from the ruthless cold. Yeji quickly ushers her inside, disbelief across her face.</p><p><em>"why were you outside? didn't you tell me you were going ho—"</em> Yeji starts but Ryujin being Ryujin cuts her off in the middle of her sentence.</p><p><em>"this place won't be home without you. Yeji-unnie, don't go."</em> Ryujin says, eyes already lined with unshed tears and hands wringing with nerves. Yeji wants to hold her close, until the coldness of the distance between them subsides.</p><p>
  <em>"this life we chose, the constant practicing and coming home and getting back, it's not easy. it's more trouble than it's worth, but you being here makes me believe we can make it. you and me both." </em>
</p><p>Ryujin is shaking like a leaf, and Yeji remembers that day in autumn where she told Ryujin she was going to leave. how she lost hope in her life, unmindful that she was the one that carries the torch of Ryujin's, and how Ryujin reminds her of light.</p><p>
  <em> "it's selfish of me, i know, but i can't do this without you. i can't go to practice knowing we won't be laughing between breaks. i can't imagine singing without your voice accompanying mine. i can't... i can't let you go like this, not when i know that i can make you stay." </em>
</p><p>the dam breaks, and Yeji knows that Ryujin rarely cries. to cry in front of her, she understands that Ryujin is showing her the side that she never shows anyone else. this Ryujin was the one who was excited to meet her when she became a trainee, the one who surprised her with a friendship she never knew she's make, the one who hugged her as if they knew each other right from the start, like Ryujin loved her all along.</p><p>Ryujin breaks, and Yeji picks up the pieces.</p><p>Yeji's arms wrap around the younger's shoulders, pulling Ryujin into a hug that makes her heart hurt with every sob that wracks Ryujin's body. she stays until the tears are dry on Ryujin's cheeks and her shirt is soaked with her own sadness. they stay like that for quite a time, until Yeji feels that all the coldness in their chests is replaced by a warmth only they could make. because here she was in this space, in Ryujin's embrace, and Ryujin is warm.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"leaving all of this... won't that be better than wishing and waiting for something uncertain?" </em>
</p><p>Ryujin shakes her head, burrowing her face deeper into the space between Yeji's neck and shoulder.</p><p>
  <em>"no, because i know we'll make it. and i'm never wrong about these things." </em>
</p><p>Yeji chuckles, more tears springing from her eyes because Ryujin sounds so <em><strong>sure</strong></em>. life was never certain but Shin Ryujin was adamant about this.</p><p>
  <em>"then i'll stay." </em>
</p><p>she feels a smile against her skin, and Yeji knows that the whisker dimples she came to know and love are high on Ryujin's cheeks.</p><p>
  <em>"good. because i wasn't ready to spend a winter alone. i would very much rather spend it with you, no matter how cold it gets." </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>autumn reminds her of leaving, but Yeji knows that at the turn of winter, Ryujin would come. the seasons come and go, but she stays.</p><p>
  <strong>she stays.</strong>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>twitter has seen this first but im looking to writing my works here too!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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